Learnings Four to Seven on Cambodian Retreat

Another Unexpected Challenge - Poonami Belchfest.

It’s the funny thing about unexpected challenges, (and when I say funny, I mean the exact opposite) since they come out of nowhere, without expectation and are invariably challenging. And so it was the day I decided to enjoy a fruit smoothie on retreat in Cambodia.

The “Roger Rabbit”, a concoction created by blending carrots, ginger and lime with ice, sounded like the sublime offering to enjoy in the hot mid-afternoon Cambodian sun. Chewing the fat with my fellow retreatants (that’s a Scottish term for blethering – which is also a Scottish term for having a conversation) I enjoyed my vegan inspired, ice-chilled libation. Consumed through a stainless steel straw (no plastic permitted) I returned to my room to quietly chill. The remaining 48 hours of this chapter were simply ghastly.

Within an astonishingly quick five minutes of finishing Mr Roger, the pesky rabbit, I found myself walking in the direction of the retreat office – something, I sensed, was amiss. Not understanding why I was heading there, I followed my compulsion to go where I knew there were staff. By the end of the three minute journey, I found a member of staff who witnessed me trembling, profusely sweating and fighting the possibility of fainting on the spot. The sense that something wasn’t right had graduated to full on certainty all was not good. I self-diagnosed food poisoning and not just food poisoning but “man-food-poisoning”. Dispatched with an appropriate leak-proof bucket, I took myself off to my room and awaited the inevitable.

Over the next two days, I experienced severe abdominal pain, diarrhoea and vomiting. And just to add insult to injury, my overnight belchfest belly pounding, was occurring the exact same time as the fecking music described in my earlier blog.

Learning - rabbits called Roger seek their revenge.

The Beauty and Power of Community.

Being so sick, the last place I wanted to be was a tiny hut made from oversized rustic toothpicks and booming loudspeaker funeral celebration music. Clenching my abdomen, wishing the spasm to pass, I dreamed of white Egyptian cotton sheets, sterile white floors and spotlessly clean whitewashed walls. Instead, I was literally marooned on my maroon coloured bed, at sea with every wave of pain that crashed into my tender guts.

Needing water, I found myself in the space where people hang out, enjoying a book or sharing some important story or experience. I had to lie down and Jenny sat next to me. I felt like shit. She very gently reached out to me and asked if I needed her to just sit with me. She wouldn’t say anything if that’s what I needed, but just be there. The care, thoughtfulness and generosity of that gesture touched me deeply. I asked Jenny to stay and together we sat without utterance - simply being in silent communion, I felt truly held in that moment.

Later, Sam joins us and offers her only stock of antibiotics prescribed to her for such food poisoning episodes. My appreciation for this moment of selfless generosity is boundless - another act of community. Within hours of consuming the first pill, I knew I was on the mend.

Learning - community facilitates empathy and a deeper awareness and engagement with each other’s needs.

Leading from Within - Leadership is an Inside Job.

My greatest take-away from the yoga, meditation, mindfulness and digital detox was the overall sense of being deeply grounded and settled. When in this state, it is much easier to connect to my own source, my sense of purpose, my truth.

As I take up the role of CEO of Kinharvie later this year, I understand the importance of giving time and space amidst the busyness of work and life to return to self. Otherwise, the danger is I make decisions on a whim, react to situations rather than respond to them or act without awareness and conscious intent - all of which, I believe are hallmarks of poor leadership.

Learning - if I am to lead from within, I need to commit time to those practices that facilitate presence and awareness to self.

Learning Number Seven - Do the Math!

Six plus six doesn’t equal seven. Enough said.